One of the hardest parts of moving across the country with kids is having to find all new doctors. After having a six year relationship with a pediatrician you love or finally finding a dentist that works well with your high anxiety child it makes switching to new doctors and trusting them so difficult. I’ve been dreading continuing my search for doctors here in Arizona but as summer nears I knew I needed to bite the bullet and get these doctors appointments out of the way so in pure mom life fashion I decided to make my life a little crazy and book an eye apt for me and cleanings for the kids at the dentist back to back.
I started with my eye doctor appointment – to my surprise I loved the doctor! She was great at listening to my only concern with my contacts, which I can’t survive without, and was willing to give me options and let me try them out in the office. At the end of trying out all of my options I narrowed it down to the 2 week contacts I’ve been wearing and having issues with in the mornings versus going to a daily contact that is super thin and comfortable. With this decision would come the price tag – $500 (after insurance) and I can tell you with all honesty I didn’t expect the dailies to cost so much but silly me it’s 730 contacts I need for a year! I left my appointment with a weeks worth of daily contacts and a decision to make.
Next on my mom duties was getting Bray from school rushing home to brush teeth and to get to the dentist. With plenty of time to spare we made it and the kids anxiety started to sore. To my surprise they did great and were super cooperative and the staff was awesome with them. Then came the c word any mom dreads…cavity. Ughh, my heart broke when I heard one child had perfect teeth and one didn’t. The dentist and I came up with a plan and I went to the front to find out what the damage would be…$500. Quickly the excitement from the idea of getting contacts that would rid me of my eye discomfort was shattered. This is where the mom in me was triggered and obviously taking care of my kids comes way before something that I want or need.
Why is it so hard as a mom to do things for ourselves? Is this a normal reaction? I say yes. Being a mom – or dad – is a selfless job. From the moment you find out you’re expecting you start doing everything for your child. Here is my reminder to all the parents out there to take care of yourselves and to do things for yourself. It’s not always easy to feel justified but taking care of yourself gives you the ability to be the best parent you can be. I still haven’t made my decision on contacts because I am lingering in the justification phase but what I do know is after one more dental appointment both of my kids are going to have sparkling white cavity free teeth 🙂
My challenge to you –> think of something you could do for yourself big or small and figure out a way to make it happen because you deserve it!
In every journey there’s a low. I mean how can you expect there to not be since nothing in life is perfect. Every new adventure has its downright unforgiving moments. Yesterday morning was my low.
Our Sunday morning started off better then most I made chocolate chip pancakes and we sat down and ate together at the table which hasn’t happened lately (mom fail). The kids went and played while I folded and put away all the laundry and cleaned both the bathrooms. I got a nice hot shower with only one little visitor and without any fighting the kids got ready and packed up. Shockingly enough I even had time to grab my morning frappucino from Starbucks and no not the unicorn one.
The soccer field parking lot was full when we got there but without hesitation I backed into a spot between two cars like a pro, you should understand I never back in to spots so go me! We got to the field and set up our chairs while Bray practiced and then the game started. This soccer season is frustrating for Bray and I because well to put it frankly his team sucks. I know I know they are 5 and 6 but I swear half of them don’t know which way the ball should be going and the other half just stand there and don’t even try. Regardless we made it 50 mins into the game before Bray ran off the field to me telling me he had blood on his finger, well he didn’t in fact there wasn’t anything wrong at all. So then it began, he refused to go back on the field so he got the ultimatum; go on the field, go to the bench or we were leaving. This confrontation of course resulted in tears for him and me feeling embarrassed and like a failure because this was the second crying incident from my kids at the field. Thirty minutes prior to this Makayla had a meltdown resulting in tears and drama all because I wanted her to sit in the new chair she picked out instead of my lap.
In these moments how can you win? You have two choices 1. Let them have their meltdown and ignore it or 2. Fight with them making the issue worse. Problem is regardless what you do their is a scene made on the behalf of your children and everyone around you is judging your parenting. For me it’s hard because there’s a lot going on in my kids lives. We have just hit 6 weeks of Daddy being in Arizona and yes he has gotten to visit briefly twice but those visits are never long enough for the kids. In 6 weeks we have gone from a structured house with 2 parents to a divided house with one parent having to be the good guy and bad guy and getting few chances to really have a conversation with the other parent. It’s hard. It’s hard for me so I know it’s hard for them. In no way did I expect this to be easy but how did we get to this point? Where/when did I start failing my kids? Yes I cried on the way home from soccer because I couldn’t believe what just happened they were basically telling me something was wrong, actions speak louder then words.
How do you come back from the low? I made the kids lunch and put them down for naps and then I sat outside and thought about what’s been going on since dads last visit home, what adjustments I could make, how I could make the next 54 days easier on them. Do I have all the answers, no. What I did have was an ice cream date last night with my kids to end what started as an enjoyable turned to disaster turned to minor heartbreak kind of day.
And yes today was better 🙂